In this section we're going to cover what Jesus would do in various situations you may find yourself in, so that you can be more "Christ-like". All of this is based on either His Word, taken directly from the Holy Book, or divine inspiration from Jesus himself.
Question: What would Jesus do if an ox gored a man or a woman to death?
Answer: Jesus would stone the ox, and avoid eating his flesh. For God said in Exodus 21:28 "If an ox gore a man or a woman, that they die: then the ox shall be surely stoned, and his flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall be quit."
Question: What would Jesus do if his dog bumped up against his friend's maid or servant?
Answer: Jesus would give the friend the equivalent of 30 shekels of silver and then stone his dog. He would give nothing to the maid or servant though. This is dictated by the Lord in Exodus 21:32.
Question: What would Jesus do if he found out his friend had sex with a cat?
Answer: He would kill him. The Lord said that if a man lieth with a beast he should surely be killed. Thus if you find that a person you know has had sexual relations with a cat (or any other animal for that matter), you should kill that person.
Question: What would Jesus do if a friend of his was caught working on Sunday?
Answer: Jesus would kill the man, as the Lord God said that "Ye shall keep the sabbath...every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death." At all costs, you must never work on Sunday.
Question: What would Jesus do if a friend was collecting sticks for a fire on Sunday?
Answer: Collecting sticks on the Holy Day is a very bad thing to do indeed, as it is considered work. Jesus would have his friends stone the man to death. In Numbers 15:32-36 the Lord commanded his congregation to stone a man when he was found gathering sticks on the sabbath. The congregation stoned the man to death for his transgression and the Lord was happy.
Question: What would Jesus do if a man pointed a finger in his face?
Answer: Jesus would slap the man in the balls (snatching the twig and berries) and then continue to beat the man to the ground before jumping on his head. We know this based on the illustrations from the ancient scrolls, which you can see on video in the technique Jesus calls Burn in Hell.
Question: What would Jesus do if he thought he had sinned?
Answer: Well, Jesus wouldn't have to do anything as he is the Lord, but if you think you've sinned, God would have you sacrifice an animal. According to Leviticus you should "sprinkle the blood round about", "cut it into pieces", and "burn it" as a "sweet savour unto the Lord."
Question: What would Jesus do if he sinned with his hand?
Answer: He would cut it off. If you should sin with your hand, perhaps have sex with a beast or a woman and her mother, you should cut off your offending members. Jesus said in Matthew 5:30, "And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee."
Question: What would Jesus do if his country wanted to go to war?
Answer: He would be thrilled, as "the Lord is a man of war" according to Exodus 15:3.
Question: What would Jesus do if he met a man who was not a Christian?
Answer: According to the Lord in Deuteronomy 17:2-5, anyone who has worshipped other gods should be "stoned with stones till they die". So if you happen to come upon a person who does not believe in Jesus as the Lord, he should be stoned to death.
Question: What would Jesus do if a man invaded his personal space?
Answer: Jesus would launch into a brutal attack, possibly blinding the poor fellow such as he did in The Blind Man. We've seen this exact sequence of events in the ancient scrolls, so there is little if any doubt about this.