The Real Jesus Christ

Rise From The Dead

In "Rise Fom The Dead" we see Jesus' version of an escape from a guillotine choke and an escape from the guard. Many people these days may know of the guillotine choke and the "guard" from watching MMA or Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. But what they've never seen is an escape like the one Jesus uses! In this technique Jesus plays dead in order to have his opponent release him, and then brings on a violent rampage of biting and ball busting! This is Jesus at his best.

A Closer Look

Jesus Playing Dead

In this close up illustration we see exactly how Jesus plays dead. Notice the position of his feet and hands. He splays out like a wet fish, loose and relaxed as though he is really dead. His opponent has no reason to hold him any longer, as he really thinks Jesus is dead.

Nipple Bite

Here we see Jesus biting his opponent's nipple off. What you might not be able to see so well is that Jesus is holding both of his opponent's biceps to keep him from defending against this brutal bite. Jesus nibbles through the mans shirt and rips off a nipple. This puts the man in a state of shock.

Groin Punch

In this illustration we see Jesus doing a rapid fire blast of punches to the man's balls. This is a sure fire way to have him release his guard for Jesus to escape once and for all. While none of these techniques are appropriate for sport, Jesus is not a sportsman. He is all about the afterlife!

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