The Real Jesus Christ

Jesus & Lucie: What You Sow, You Shall Also Reap

Miss Lucie

Below you'll find the emails, pictures, and phone calls that resulted when two African scammers from Senegal, Miss Lucie and the Reverend David Mike, attempted to scam Jesus Christ. As the Holy Book states, "What You Sow, You Shall Also Reap" (Galatians 6:7). Miss Lucie and the Reverend thought they were going to scam Jesus, but they got scammed instead. Let this be a lesson to all. Mock Jesus, and you will also be mocked, or possibly slapped in the sack and jumped on.

If you'd like to skip to the end, here's the last phone call Jesus made to the Reverend:

First Contact: Lucie to Jesus:

My name is missLucie , never married. l saw your profile today and after going through it many times then l made up my mind to contact you as my friend. so l want you to write back to me through my email address so that l will give you my picture and for you to know who l am. l hope to see your mail OK is from me, i want to make friends any we in this world.

Miss lucie

Jesus' Response:

Miss Lucie,

Thank you for contacting me. I was very happy to receive your email. I love you very much and welcome you as my friend. If you'd like to see me, you can look at my pictures on my website, www.jesusjitsu.com. I'm sure you will love it. Blessings,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

Marry Christmas!!!!!!!!!:Happy New Year 2012)

Hello dearest habeeb,

It is so nice to hear you back. I am very glad that we became interested in each other. I will try my utmost to make our correspondence interesting and honest. I do believe that we both have to be open-hearted and sincere so as to know each other deep down and share our loneliness together. I really enjoyed your nice letter, you wrote with great passion for what you believe and search for. it seems that in my country there is a lack of that same passion.

It's that type of passion that I believe, builds a strong foundation for friendship, as well as marriage. I believe that it's a passion that needs to be nurtured throughout the relationship. It takes hard work, communication, understanding, and forgiveness because we are only human. Mistakes will be made, misunderstandings will occur, but if the foundation is strong enough the relationship will overcome those barriers. so let me tell you more about my self.

My name is Miss Lucie Mories from Abidjan in Central Africa 5.7ft tall, dark in complexion, 25 years old (never married before) and presently i am residing in the refugee camp here in Dakar as a result of the civil war that was fought in my country. My late father Dr Guimb Mories was the personal advicer to the former head of state (Late Dr Guimb Mories) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.

It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make my way to a near by country Senegal where i am living now.I would like to know more about you.Your likes and dislikes,your hobbies and what you are doing and my hobbies are football and movies presently.I will tell you more about myself in my next mail.Attached here is my picture mail. I will also like to see your Own picture.

Hoping to hear from you soonest

Miss Lucie

Miss Lucie Looking Pretty Miss Lucie

Jesus' Response:

Miss Lucie,

Thank you very much for your email, and for sending pictures of yourself. You are a beautiful, full bodied, and curvaceous woman! I am definitely most interested in you and I'm very happy you are interested in me. :) I agree with you that we both must be open-hearted and sincere, otherwise we really won't know each other deep down, and we will not be able to sufficiently share our true loneliness. For, loneliness is the way of those who walk along the path of the Lord. I can tell you are also very lonely, due to the passion with which you wrote your letter.

It is with great sadness in my burning heart that I take the news of your relocation after the rebel attack on your family. You're very fortunate to be dark in complexion, but very unfortunate to have been so ruthlessly attacked in Abidjan. I will be on your side forever, and would love to get my hands on the balls of those who attacked you. I would crush them with all of my might, and it would be just, indeed.

Fortunately you have made it to Senegal. I have always been interested in Dakar, as Jimmy Buffet sings about the place, and I am a fan of Jimmy Buffet. If he sings about it, it must be good. Therefore, I wonder if I could visit you in Dakar someday. Wouldn't that be nice? One of my hobbies is martial arts. I am a warrior. So if I visited you I could protect you from any bandits or rascals that may wish to do harm to your curvaceous beauty. I have attached a picture of myself to this email, so you can see my prowess. In this picture I am wearing my traditional dress, as I come from the Middle East, land of Jerusalem. Very soon I will also send you some pictures of myself in modern clothing. Blessings,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

My dearest

Honey! How are you today? I Hope all is well with you over there ,For me here in Dakar Senegal only that i am living urgly life here without help , In this camp we are not allowed to go out of the camp It's just like one staying in the prison and i hope by God's grace i will come out here soon If you can permit'

i am happy to read your email very well and know more about you please i dont know how i will tell you this but i have no body i will tell only you if your willing to help me out so that i will travel to your conutry and start a new life over there.

I don't have any relatives now whom i can go to, all my relatives ran away in the middle of the war the only person i have now is Reverend David Mike, who is the pastor of the (Christ The savour Int Church) here in the camp,he has been very nice to me since i came here but i am not living with him rather i am leaving in the women's hostel because the camp have two hostels one for men the other for women.

The Pastor's Tel number is (+221774499389) When you call tell him that you want to speak with me he will send for me in the hostel.As a refugee here i don't have any right or privilledge to any thing be it money or whatever because it is against the law of this country, I want to go back to my studies because i only attended my first year before the traggic incident that lead to my being in this situation now took place,

Listen to this. i have my late father's statement of account and death certificate here with me which i will send to you latter,because when he was alive he deposited some amount of money in a leading Bank in africa which he used my name as the next of kin,the amount in question is $4.5M( Four million five hundred thousand dollars). So i will like you to help me transfer this money to your account and from it you can send some money for me to get my travelling documents and air ticket to come over to meet with you.

I kept this secret to people in this camp. here the only person that knows about it is the Reverend, because he is like a father to me.because i am afraid to loose this money if they gets to know about it. So, in the light of above i will like you to keep it to yourself and don't tell it to anyone for i am afraid of loosing my life and the money if people gets to know about it. Remember i am giving you all this information due to the trust i deposed on you.I like honest andunderstanding people,truthful and a man of vision,truth and hardworking.

Mean while i will like you to call me when you have chance, Because i have allot to tell you.Have a nice day and think about me please"I love you , i want to hear your vocie please in your reply send to me your contact informations.

I am waiting to hear from you soonest

Yours Beloved,

Lucie

Jesus' Response:

Oh my dearest Lucie!

Thank you for such a wonderful, honest, and thoughtful letter. I'm sorry to hear about your urgly life without help, but I can assure you the blinding, burning, bleeding love of Jesus is bestowed upon you. You will escape your urgly life in the prison you now call home, by God's good grace and the power of my loins. I promise that I can permit you to escape and live with me in America.

I have always dreamed of having my own luscious, dark in complexion, Nubian Princess at my every beck and call. Will you be my Nubian Princess Lucie? Will you be the woman of my household, obedient and true to my every wish as the Lord sayeth thou should? I will be willing to help you travel to my country and begin a new life with me, where we practice the art of child bearing, making fierce love in the beautiful moonlight. You will love the ferocity of Jesus!

I'm happy to hear you have the Reverend David Mike, pastor of the Christ The Savior International Church. But, I am concerned that he may be a false prophet. Maybe the Reverend David Mike has evil intentions, and will try to get your $4.5 million dollars. Perhaps I should strike him down? I will do foul things to his balls, and then strike him down if you wish. But if you think he is an honest, God fearing man, then I will call him and ask to speak to you. Please let me know if you really think the Reverend David Mike is an honest and God fearing man, or if you think I should be foul to his balls. Are you sure he is not only interested in your money and your private realms? And if you do want me to call you by your Pastor's telephone number, what time would you like me to call?

You are very fortunate to have $4.5 million dollars given to you by your late father. You asked about me. I will tell you about my mother and father. My father was a poor man, a "handyman". My mother was not married. She claimed immaculate conception, but I believe she was a whore, as sad as it is for me to tell you that. It seems unlikely that she was impregnated by an otherworldly entity. I'm am sorry to tell you that I was birthed by an unmarried woman, but I assure you my morals are sound!

I will not tell anyone about your $4.5 million dollars, and I will happily take that money into my bank account. Then I will send you whatever money you need for you to get your traveling documents and ticket to fly to the United States of America, to live and love with me. We will make great love my luscious Lucie! Fear not.

Can you send me another picture of yourself? I am very excited to see more pictures of you. If you can send me another picture, where you are jumping in the air, I would know it is really you, and I can then trust you with my bank account information. What else do I need to do in order for you to send me the $4.5 million dollars? I will do it right away after I receive the picture of you jumping! Thank you my big, beautiful, dark in complexion love!!! :) I am anxiously awaiting your reply so that I can see your new picture and hear your voice very soon. I love you,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

hello my beloved,

MAY THIS YEAR OF 2012 BE
A YEAR OF HEALTH AND HAPPINESS
A YEAR OF WEALTH AND WISDON...
A YEAR OF PEACE AND PROSPERITY
A YEAR OF GLEE GLOW
AND
ALSO A YEAR OF LOVE AND LAUGHTER
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU MY
LOVE

Good day and i am happy hearing from you . my troubled heart has stopping from being troubled because i have heard a good news that i have been expecting for a very long time ok. i am thanking you on many reasons starting from you have confirmed your willingness to help me after hearing my sad news about my late family deadly problems , i want you to help me to be a mother of somebody and finally i want you to come to my financial and live investment surpport.

well what is better is to see to the good security of this money because if this money is well arranged and secured over there in your country it means that from that money you can use enough money to either make your good chance to visit here for us to leave to your country for finals or send to me enough money that i can use to get all my traveling needed equipments to come and meet you there . i love the way you reason and i pray that the sky will be our limit.

please my beloved i will like to with you all of my live . i will also like to hear from you on where exactly we should invest this money for our great future gladness . remember that i do not want you to use the word be my live partner to entice me and at the end of the day you left me uncomforted . i do not want you to love my inherited money more than you do love me. if your interest is only in this money kindly tell me because i do not want anyone that will break my heart or put shame into my family life. i love to live and have my future life spent with you but how sure am i that you will not betray me when this money is transfered to your bank account.

if i hear from you i will send to the bank to introduce you to them officially but remember to bring all the informations i requested from you as it will make me believe we are heading for one direction and that you can be able to handle this big amount of money faithfully and capably. Dear i all this contact.

1Your Full Names;
2Your Address:
3Your Age
4Your Occupation:
5Your Direct Tel/Fax Number:

please in the light of the above i will like you keep it to your self for i am afraid of my life and loosing the money if people gets to know about it, remember i give this information to you with faith and trust that you will be of help to me with the help of God, i like honest and understanding people, truthful and a man of vision, meanwhile i will like to hear your voice on phone though i don't have cell phone of my own but you can call me with Rev. Father number. here is the number (00221-774499389) he is a good man of God and you can call him ask him anything you want to know about me if you like to ask him . and i did not know the time differnt to your country you can call me from 12.00 to 18 GMT

Plesaemy beloved i will like to hear your vocie as you said call me with the Rev number i give to you please he is a man of God and he is taking care of this camp and he is a good man as i know snice my i come here and tell him about my conditions here he is soo gud to me . please my dear i will like to hear your vocie and to have you as my husband but the problem i have here is the conndition here in camp is to bad to eat here is very big problem for us .

Here them give us food once in day or some times twice and is not Good food no good water, even no better place to sleep please my be love i need you to help me to get out of this hell fire. please for the juping pic you ask them did not alowed us to snap pic here but if you need i will send to you another of my pic ok .

cheers and wish to hear from you on truthful means you can help me for my future.

love from Lucie

Miss Lucie with Big Booty Miss Lucie by the Water

Jesus' Response:

Happy New Year to You Dearest Lucie!

I am so happy that you have written me again, and have not lost faith in my ability to help you. Thank you for sending the additional pictures. I must say, your bottom is quite striking in the picture where you have the yellow and white striped dress. You do have a voluptuous and beautiful backside. But that is not all that I am interested in, I assure you. And I am not only interested in your money. I am a wealthy man with over $7 million dollars in my bank account, and I am very good at investing money. I was the leader of a very big church for a long time, and it was extremely profitable. I didn't want to tell you how much money I had at first, but I am telling you now so you know not to be worried that all I want is your money. I do not need any more money, so you mustn't worry about that.

What I would really enjoy is helping you to escape your urgly life in the refugee camp you now live in. Of course I would love massaging your beautiful, dark bottom, as any real man would, but most of all I would like you to be my wife and bear many children for me. First, we can practice making children, but no matter. I will not break your heart or put shame into your family life. Of course, you don't have any family life since your family was murdered by rascals, but I understand what you mean. Jesus will not become Judas, and betray you. I will stand by you forever.

I can understand that it is not easy for you to snap a picture of yourself. That is ok. But I need to have some proof that a real, trustworthy person is writing with me here. If you cannot take a picture of yourself jumping, can you ask your Reverend David Mike to send a picture of him jumping? Most people do not take pictures of themselves jumping, I know. That is precisely why I am asking. If I can get a picture of the Reverend David Mike jumping in the air, then I will know you are actually responding to my requests, and I will know I can trust you with my contact information and bank account number. Because I have $7 million dollars in my bank account, and even more in my various investments, I must be very careful with that information.

Of course I am a man of faith, or my name is not Jesus Christ. I am also a man of great vision and testicular fortitude, to put it properly. So please email a picture of Reverend David Mike jumping in the air and then I will send you my contact information.

I am very sad to hear you say that your condition is not gud and you're only able to get food once each day. If I were there, I would multiply the bread and fish so that you could have many pieces of bread and many pieces of fish at every meal. When you come to live with me in America, you will be able to eat fish, bread, and drink delicious wine as much as you want!

I wish you a year of glee glow also, and I know that you will have it. Very soon you and your beautiful bottom will be sharing my not so humble abode! Before you know it, you will be living with me as my wife in America, with all your family's money!

Jesus

Two In a Row From Jesus:

My beloved Lucie,

To show you I am a rich man indeed, I have attached a picture of myself in my traditional clothing (remember I am from the Middle East), surrounded by hundred dollar bills and with pure gold coins in my outstretched hand. The many thousands of dollars I am surrounding myself with and holding in my hand is the money I had in my pocket. I know it is not a lot, but you can see the kind of wealth my large following has brought me. I am rich like a king, so you can be sure I am more interested in your heavenly, luscious body and soul than your $4.5 million dollars.

Now, I'm sure you can also understand why I am so careful with my address and bank account details. I do not want to give my full contact information until I have the picture of the Reverend David Mike jumping in the air. Once you send me that picture, I will send you my contact information. Then, if you'll send me a picture of the Reverend David Mike with the words "I Love Jesus Jitsu" painted on his stomach in white paint, I will send you my bank account information. This will prove to me that the Reverend David Mike is a real man and I can trust you with my bank account details.

I know that no scammers would be willing to take such pictures, so once I get them you will have my full trust, and I will not be worried about my $7 million dollars. Then, I will even be happy to send YOU thousands of dollars directly by wire transfer. I can send you money if you need it, to help you purchase more fish and bread until I am able to feed you myself. After I have the first picture of the Reverend David Mike, I will give him a call and ask to speak to you. It will be great to hear the voice of such a dark, voluptuous Nubian Princess! With love and just ferocity,

Jesus

Jesus with Money

Lucie's Response:

Hello

i have read your email ok i contact you base in my condition here , As i told you befor you have the number of Rev call him and ask him for the pic you want ok .i can not tell him about it . ok if your not willing to help me is better you told me . or you stop to email me bocose i am not here to west any time i am passing a lot of hounger here. i dont need your bank account , i am not working in the bank .i am unber refuge here . i will stop here if your not willing to help me we can stop here ok . by with love lucie

Jesus' Response:

Hello my dearest Lucie,

I will call the Reverend David Mike for you now, and ask him for the picture. Then I will be in touch with you again soon. Blessings and much love,

Jesus

Jesus' First Call to the Reverend David Mike:

About an hour later...

Jesus' Second Call to the Reverend David Mike:


Jesus Emails Lucie After the Calls:

Dearest Lucie,

I'm so excited! I've just spoken to the Reverend David Mike and he has agreed to send me a picture of himself jumping in the air. Then, I will know that the picture has just been taken today, and that you both are real, honest people! Soon, you will no longer be hungry, and you will be sleeping in a bed with Jesus, bearing my children, and with all of my money and your father's money. With great love,

Jesus

Jesus Calls and Talks to Lucie:


Lucie Emails Jesus After the Call:

Hello My Dearest,

My Sweet Darling, how are you today? i am very sorry for reply late is due to light failure in the camp . My dear, am very glad for speaking with you yesterday on phone and i want to thank you for all your efforts and love towards me , you have given me hope and i will also like to see you face to face as you said on phone soon. I love you and i want you to know before i contacted you,i am hoping to spend the rest of my life with you. I will give my love to no other man than you because i am satisfied with you , needless of looking for another man.

My dear i am glad that God has brought you to see me out from this my situations and i promise to love you till eternity and will equally need you in every areas of my life including investing my late father's money since i am still young to manage such huge amount of money. . My dear, if you really love me kindly don't make me to be afraid of you because the way your talking to the Rev and i for the first time am very much afraid you and i don't know if you are real love me untill you called me yesterday that the time you really prove your love to me ok.My love please as you told me that you want to marry me i am ready to be your wife too please and please if your really want me to be your wife do not give me any condition please i contact you becouse of my condition and i know that your capable to help me out .please my love i want you to know if my father and my mum is a life i don't thing that i will be in his condition or need any help for any body . Please Rev said that he can not do any thing on the picture your asking him and please stop worried the old man please he is a man of God and he is the one help me me here please .i don't no why you did not truest me and you did not truest man Of God Like i told you earlier if it will be possible for i will do any thing i will do for you want from me so that i will get out of this hell fire i am now ,please my love this refugee camp is like a prison yard as i told you on phone that to eat here is very big problem to us here like yersterday them give us food at night and is not a good food and as i told you please and please my love if you really love me and you want to marry me please help me with any thing so that i will buy some food to eat please and i have more picture of my if you need more i will send it to you please . My prayers is to move out from here as soon as possible.Please make sure that you my life out of trouble, honey due remember that i will like to meet with you over there in your country. Meanwhile,

Yours forever in love,

Please here is the address you will use to send the money to me true WESTAN UNION money transfer

Name............Miss Lucie Gumib
Address.........HLm 4
City ...........Dakar
Conutry .........Senegal

B/N please send to me your contact informatios i ask you and i will like 4 u to call me again

Miss Lucie

Jesus' Response:

My Dearest Lucie,

I am doing very well today, but I am sorry to hear about the light failure in your camp and the bad food you received yesterday. Your situation is the work of the evil one. While I am very strong and fierce, you have no reason to be afraid of me. I only foul the balls of non-believers, heretics, and witches. You must understand that with my great wealth, I must be very careful with my money. Many people attempt to scam me and take my money.

You see, my parents brought me here from the Middle East for school and I became a surgeon in one of the best hospitals in California for many years. That is where I made the majority of my money. After becoming tired of surgery, especially all of the blood and guts, I invested my money with great success, and multiplied my savings beyond belief. After my very early retirement, I saw the light, the Lord came to me, and he told me that I should change my name to Jesus, as I was indeed sent to this earth by Him. He provided me with the gold coins you saw in the picture I sent you. I know it might sound hard to believe, but I am indeed the Jesus your Reverend claims to worship. I was sent by God to spread the word about the REAL Jesus, and to help people in need, such as yourself. Therefore, helping you is part of why I was sent here by God. It is my calling, in addition to ministering at my church. But I am also a man in the flesh and blood. I do desire your terrific frame, dark complexion, and large backside, as any real man would. So do not hold that against me. You are indeed a beautiful woman! You should be happy about that, as I am.

I'm excited to hear that you are in love with me, as in this short time I have also fallen in love with you. I can tell by your emails and pictures that you are an honest and good woman. Many women do not want to be with me since I changed my name to Jesus. Or, they simply come after me for my money. Since you have $4.5 million dollars, I know that you are not only loving me for my great wealth. That makes me love you even more.

Today, I will send you $500 as a test. Once you receive the money, I will send you $5,000. Will that be enough for you to begin getting your international papers? Then, once you have your papers together I will fly to Dakar to meet you. We can get married there, practice bearing children, and then fly to my home in America as husband and wife. I will send the first $500 in about one hour. So please go to your Western Union at about 3PM your time, and the money will be there. My contact information is:

(random address removed)

With Love, Glee Glow, and Great Excitement,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

My love jesus, am very happy to finaly receive God in my life as you really explained to me i really do understand you and love you more in my life, i will be with you forever because i never know that God can remember me soon and bring me very close to him, am very much appreciate his mercy in my life ok and i do love you with all my heart. Your the only love of my life and i will say i love you my dear. kindly send the informations about the money when you send it ok so that i can be to pick it up, i hope that we will be together soon ok.

with great love in my heart.

From your ever wife Lucie.

I love you.

Jesus' Response:

My Ever Wife Lucie,

I am so happy to hear you call yourself my wife. Soon we will be together in Dakar, and then in California, growing old and making babies together.

Regarding the money, I went to Western Union with $500 cash, and the person there told me that there are many scams regarding sending money to Africa and that I must be 100% positive this is not a scam. Can you imagine that some people claim they need help and will be your love, but they will not? It is impossible for me to believe, and I trust you all the way. However, I am not certain I can trust the Reverend David Mike. The Western Union representative told me there is no reason why the Reverend David Mike cannot send me a picture. And, that is true. He can very easily send me a picture. And I am sure that if the Reverend really cares about you, he will do so. It is no problem for you to ask him. You can also give me his email address and I can email the Reverend again and tell him myself.

So here is what I need: I need to have one picture of the Reverend David Mike, standing on one leg (it's ok if he cannot jump in the air) and holding a sign that says "I Love Jesus Jitsu". Once I have that picture, I will very quickly drive back to the Western Union and send the $500. I need to be sure first that the Reverend is who he says he is, and the picture will make me 100% certain.

Once you tell me that you have received the $500 and I know no one else has stolen it, I will send you $5,000 in the same way, so that you can get your international papers, I can fly to Dakar, and we can become lovers. I also want to be sure you have enough bread and fish until I get there, to sustain your current form and figure. I do not want you to go hungry, and I am very worried about you not getting enough food.

So please tell the Reverend David Mike that if he cares about you, and if he wants you to get the $5,500 from me and be rescued from the refugee camp by Jesus, then he will need to email me the picture. Maybe he needs money for his church? If he does, once he sends me the picture and helps you, I will also be willing to make a donation to his church, from my church. Along with the $500 to you in the first transfer, I would also be willing to send him $500 for helping you. Please let him know that I will be happy to make a donation to his church if he will help me to be 100% sure that he is legitimate, and that you will be my Nubian Princess!

I am so excited about this Lucie, I just cannot tell you with words. I know you will be the love of my life...my wife, forever. I have composed a short poem for you:

Lucie, my love,
You are more beautiful than a dove.
I'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear,
With your big round rear.
For all of your life,
You will be my wife.
Living with Jesus,
You'll have nothing to fear.

Maybe you didn't realize I can also write poetry! When we are living a life in America as one, I will write you one poem every day. Please tell the Reverend to hurry with his picture, and I can still go to Western Union today.

Missing you every minute,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

Hello my love,

How are you today? i saw your message yesterday but i cant be able to get back to you due that the Rev. was not in the office and wait for him so that i will ask him about the pics you do request and i really plead with him today, he finaly forward his pictures to me and am very happy for have it now. My dearest, as i really believe in all you have told me but am a bit cofused on what you said in your last message that the western union moeny told you that to send money to African is scam i dont like that and never want to hear about it because it is an insult to all Africans and please dont mention that again to my hearing because i dont like such. I do love you with all my heart and being ready to live with you in life but dont break down my trust and love i have for you, if you dont really believe me then you can forget about me or come down here in senegal to see me, who is that idiot insulting Africans, My dear, be kind and respect my nation as do to your own naton please. am waiting for your feedback regarding how am going to gather my papers here. with great love.

Your ever wife Lucie.

I love you.

Reverend Reverend Reverend
Note: If anyone viewing this knows who the actual people in the above photos are, please contact Jesus and let him know.

Jesus' Response:

Lucie My Love,

I am doing as well today as every day, which is to say extremely well. I only have good days, and I want to share those days with you here in America. Of course I know that everyone in Africa is not an evil scammer. I'm sure you know that all human beings originated in Africa. In fact, Adam and Eve were very dark skinned, curly haired black people, created on this earth by our Lord God in the area we now call Kenya. Their names were not "Adam" and "Eve". Those were names made up by people who couldn't pronounce their names in the ancient language. Their actual names were Jaboba and Tambar, although they would not have spelled them that way. Since God created the first two human beings in Africa, that right there should be enough proof that Africans are not scammers!

However, as I'm sure you know since you were worried about people killing you in your urgly refugee camp, there are some evil doers in Africa. They will rape and pillage, and they will murder, kill, and scam people. Now, of course I know you are not one of those scammers. I'm not 100% sure about the Reverend David Mike, because I have not emailed with him as I have with you. It is from your emails and your expressed desire to move to America, be my wife, and bear my children, not to mention the fact that you trust me with your late father's $4.5 million dollars, that I know I can trust you and that you are not a scammer. Have faith my ever wife, that I do trust you with all my burning, bleeding heart and soul.

Even though the Western Union employee may be an idiot, I will still need the picture of the Reverend David Mike (or yourself), standing on one leg and holding a sign that says "I Love Jesus Jitsu". I promise you my loverly Lucie, that as soon as I receive those pictures in my email I will be running out the door to my car, driving very fast to the Western Union, and sending the first $1,000 ($500 for you and $500 donation to the Reverend). As I have told you, once you confirm you have received the first $500 and I know no evil person has stolen the money from you, I will send you $5,000. As you saw in the picture I sent you, I have many thousands of dollars in my home, ready to be sent.

I am so excited about getting the picture, sending you the money, and you getting your travel documents, that I have written you another poem, my dearest love:

The Bible tells of Adam and Eve,
But these names were meant to deceive.
Their real names were Jaboba and Tambar,
They were Africans colored black as tar.
Kenya was the birthplace of man,
Africans are more honest than sand.

Jesus is so bright and smart,
He knows scammers in his heart.
Lucie is an African beauty,
She is not a scammer...surely.
Lucie comes from the original place,
She has a very lovely face.

When the Reverend sends his photo,
Jesus will drive his moto.
He'll drive to Western Union fast,
Jesus and Lucie's love will last.
They'll make babies left and right,
They'll do it all through the night.

Lucie will be so very happy,
Her children will call Jesus, pappy.
They'll first meet in Dakar,
They'll have to drive a rental car.
Lucie will have so much money,
Jesus will be her eternal honey!

I hope you love my poem Lucie! I will wait by my computer for the picture of you or the Reverend David Mike with the sign that says "I Love Jesus Jitsu". As soon as I receive it I will speed to Western Union, and I will email you the money transfer information right away from my iPhone. With love and anticipation,

Jesus

Lucie's Response:

Hello my dear, i think i have tried all my best i can do for this relationship and i can see that you never regard the man of God or myself to anything, listening very well mr jesus please dont you ever continue your insulting asking to me or the Rev. i have had you enough and you can keep your money for yourself i dont need it anymore , if you really love me as you claimed then make a chance to come down here in senegal ok then we will see face to face and never ever joke with my life anymore because even if you dont help me out from here i know one day God i serve will surely provide someone for my life, i still love you in my heart without seeing your photos and you hide everything of you and joking with me, please is enough , i you want to contact the man of God good, this is his email address revdavidmike@yahoo.com your already have his phone number with you. kindly talk to me with sense or forget about me, any more jokes dont espect a message from me anymore.

bye

Jesus' Response:

My Dearest Lucie,

I must not happy either, because I thought you were serious about being my wife. It is a very simple thing for the Reverend to take a photo to prove his authenticity. If he will not do it, he has ruined my marriage to you. I was also very happy that you were going to marry me in Senegal and move to America with me. THAT IS NO JOKE! I will call the Reverend now and clear this up. With love,

Jesus

Jesus' Last Call to the Reverend David Mike:


Jesus' Last Email to Lucie & the Reverend:

Dear Lucie and Reverend Mike,

The Lord said, "what you sow, you shall also reap". You two fools attempted to scam Jesus, but the entire time you were being scammed by Jesus. Only, you were too stupid to realize it. Every email, photo, and phone call has been recorded by Jesus and posted on the internet for everyone to see how you were tricked by Christ. See for yourself, here.

In addition to the embarrassment you will face for having been scammed so badly, Jesus will come to Dakar now, find you, and destroy you with his wrath. For, the Lord is a man of war. (Exodus 15:3) Reverend, you will find yourself victim to what Jesus calls Burn in Hell. You will have your balls crushed, and then you will be stomped on. Lucie, you will be struck by the technique called Turn the Other's Cheek. Jesus does not take kindly to fools like you. You are a disgrace to all Africans, and you will burn for all eternity in the fires of hell.

Jesus

Note: If anyone viewing this knows who the actual people in the above photos are, please contact Jesus and let him know. If you'd like to contact Lucie or the Reverend, here is their contact information:

Lucie's Email: lucieguimb1@hotmail.com
Reverend David Mike's Email: revdavidmike@yahoo.com
Reverend David Mike's Cell Phone Number: 221-774499389


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