The Real Jesus Christ

Jesus Prays

In this video we see Jesus has been unmistakably attacked. He uses the humble prayer position to fool his opponent into thinking he is a willy-nilly sissy, but surprises him blocking the punch with it. He follows by striking the Holy Ghost of the Trinity, the balls, and twisting the man down to the ground. Once the man is on the ground, Jesus does a complex technique that breaks the man's ribs and arm.

A Closer Look

Prayer Position

Here we can see the prayer position. It looks sissified and defensive, as if Jesus is begging not to be attacked. It is the perfect way to lure your opponent into attacking you. The prayer position is perfect for blocking punches, and also for spearing your opponent in the eyes and throat!

Prayer Block

In this illustration we can see Jesus "opening the hands" to block the punch. As he opens from the prayer position he hacks his opponent in the neck with his right hand at the same time as he blocks the punch with his left. This puts him in a position where he can easily explode the man's balls with a brutally hard knee.

Knee Balls

Here we see Jesus doing something he often does, kneeing a man in the balls. We can tell by the image that the man's heels are off the ground from the power of Jesus' knee. Jesus has clearly exploded the man's balls like a delicate piece of china shattering on the ground. Notice that Jesus is yanking the man forward and into his bionic knee.

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