The Real Jesus Christ

Burn In Hell

Here we see that Jesus was obviously under attack. As he was walking and praying, his opponent smited him in the "prayer hands". Jesus' response was quick and effective, as he went straight for the Holy Ghost of the Trinity with a "balls slap". After slapping the balls, Jesus slaps the man to the ground and then jumps on his head. Historians tell us this is the only example we have of Jesus jumping on another man's head. However, the recently discovered scrolls tell us otherwise. This is a technique Jesus was fond of.

A Closer Look

Slapping the Balls

In this image we see Jesus moving in to slap the man's balls (also known as "snatching the twig and berries"). We can see that the man knows something horrible is coming, but he's unable to stop Jesus. Notice that Jesus has dropped low and is stepping "off line" to get a tactical advantage.

Slapping the Head

Here we see the power that is about to rain down on the opponent's head. Jesus has just exploded the man's gonads, and before he falls to the ground Jesus helps him along by slapping the back of his head like the Mother of God.

Face Stomp

And finally, we see where Jesus landed after springing and stomping. The jump is called "Jump From The Heavens", and Jesus jumps up High and then rains down with extreme force. Notice how Jesus' foot forms perfectly to the man's head, allowing him to break multiple bones.

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